With the bad news received this week, I have been approached by different people wanting to know details or to share their sentiments about the situation. That lead me to be caught on a typical reaction of mine: I do all that I can to make sure they feel OK. I will joke and act carefree and forget that maybe they really mean it, and want to make sure I’ll be alright.
A person offered resume writing skills help, another job positioning with an agency, another had a good hug to give, another words of hope. I really appreciate it all. As usual I am having a difficult time to accept that it is OK to not be OK at this moment. I reached exhaustion yesterday and all I could do was sleep and feel pain on my head.
I am terrified of the idea of working somewhere else. Interviewing. Meeting a whole new team of people. Learning the politics and moods all over again. But I am also terrified of taking the leap and move states to follow the job. My chest feels tight, my stomach burns. I considered tossing the meds I am taking to get my brain back and see if that way things get figured out faster. I need to make my decision by next week.
Thank you all who’ve read this. This is just a venting piece to help me admit that this is a stressful situation and I should not feel guilty for feeling bad. I need to pace myself and accept help.