Concrete fear

I’ll be out of a job sometime this spring. First reaction was shock. Surrounded by other shocked people, I managed well, as I always do. I become more concerned with others than myself.

It took me to bed time to get all of my anxiety to flare up. I was sick to my stomach. I have a lump of my throat that feels like an air bubble. Managed to fall asleep somehow probably around midnight… woke up at 3am. I had alcohol for dinner, it helped to keep anxiety at bay for a bit longer, however a bad decision to my health overall.

Backup plans are flying all over my brain. The fear is not knowing the route to take. The thought of having to learn a new job, new people, new places. I don’t want this big lump of change right now in my life, but there is no choice, it is now a countdown.

The positive part of me believes this is the kick in the ass I needed to maybe get a job that fits better with who I am, and what I enjoy doing. Time will tell, and now I need to work on taming my brain as best I can to have it help me, not hinder me, while I go through the anxiety of this.


Image credit to Ask a Gamer